I just ...

OH MY ..
why oh why..

tiba2 inget dia..
tiba2 kangen bgt sm dia..
tiba2 pgn meluk dia bgt..
tiba2 pgn bgt ngeliat dia walopun cm bntar aja..
tiba2 pgn liat senyum dia lg..

tahiiiiiiiiiiiikkk..
I HATE THIS FEELING !

kenapa dia ga segampang itu buat diapus dr otak gw??
kenapa dia masih juga seneng nari2 di otak gw??
kenapa dia masih juga ngaruh dlm hidup gw??
kenapa dia masih jg stay dsana??

nooooooooooooooooooo..
please bikin gw lupa sm dia..

kasih tau gw, apa yg bs bikin gw lupa sm lo..
kasih tau gw, apa yg bs bikin lo ilang dr otak gw..
kasih tau gw, apa hebatnya lo smpe gw segininya..
kasih tau gw, apa yg udh lo kasih buat gw dlu..
kasih tau gw, ini perasaan apaaaaaaa??

ini apa?
ini kenapa?
ini gmn?
ini smpe kpn?

me never likes this situation ! *seriously*

hmmmmmm..
bnyk alesan knp gw SEHARUSNYA bs lupa sm lo..
dan emg udh SEHARUSNYA ini ga pernah kejadian lg..

I dont know why it's happened suddenly ..
I don't know why I miss you..

I just ........
miss you!

that's all..

F R I E N D S

do you know something called friends?
F R I E N D S ..
yaaa kalo bahasa indonesianya "TEMAN"

yang kadang bs mengalami metamorfosa jd sesuatu bernama "SAHABAT" atau "MUSUH" ..
hmmm..

Ga tau gmn rasanya hidup tanpa ada teman ..
YES, we cannot live without them, right??

sometimes, we feel like everything's fine, but sometimes it's not..
kadang lo ngerasa bakal bs sama2 terus sm mereka, dia, dan orang itu tanpa ngelakuin apapun, tp ternyata you lost them, him/her, that person..

kadang ga pernah tau caranya : how to keep them with you as long as you want !

friends need : CARE .. TOUCH .. SMILE .. TEARS .. HUGS .. LAUGH .. STUPIDITY .. SERIOUSNESS .. and CHEMISTRY ?
I think so ..

if someday, "FRIENDS" dont get what they need, so we wont have them anymore?

but what if something called LOYALITY, RESPECT, and ACCEPTABILITY to be the exception?
dimana "FRIENDS" mgkn hrs ttp setia, ngehargain apa yg ada, dan bs ngertiin kekurangan yg ada..

hmmm..
needs + the exception = bff ??
or
needs (without exception) = bff ??

I dont have any idea with these things..
cause now on, it feels like they're demanding for THAT "needs" without give any chance to THAT "exception"..

apa cm perasaan aja?
apa emg pantes dptin ini?

still have no idea..
THAT'S WHY : friends do COME and GO !

*even it is so hurt when you lost one of ur friends ..

autism ..

lg berasa autis..
jauh dr peradaban dunia..
without any touches of anybody !

i'm the enemy ..
i'm the outsider ..
i'm just a dummy ..
ooh..
AUTISM !

jd pgn menjauh dr mana2..
pgn pergi yg jauuuhhh..
lg ga pgn dgr apapun dr sypapun..

mgkn ini yg pernah dirasain bbrp temen gw kmrn2..
ya ya ya yaaa..

lg males bgttt..
dunia mengabur !
skripsi gw ternyata cm ngelindur..

ah shit !
I hate the world lately..

maybe I need to go to another world!
yes I have too ..

I want to be
no-enemy ..
no-outsider ..
no-dummy ..
no-autism ..

hey ..
AUTISM ??
that's my life lately ..

have fun kalian !

He's still with me .. till October ??

hmmm..
I know I just love him..
I was just too weak to let him go..
even I told him that I didnt wanna be with him anymore..
*sorry*

but I've told you that we have no future..
we still able to have a "normal" relationship ..

But he refused it..
I just couldnt stand to leave him..

I'm sorry..
For me, it's not an easy thing..
but we HAVE to do this..

it's just for our own good!
maybe, it looks like unfair deal..
but, believe me..
It's the best way..

hmmm..
just till October??
just we'll see..

Bot, whenever you're ready to leave me..
just leave me..

I deserve it.. we deserve it..

and 1 thing !
I just love you..
and I have no reason for it..

thanks for being a part of my life..

hmmmm..
promise me, if you have a new relationship : YOU HAVE TO FIND A GIRL WHO HAS A SAME RELIGION WITH YOU .. ;)

take care urself, Bot !
*lovelove

why so seriuos ?

hmmm..
it's just a dilemma ..
mom or him !
I know, mom is the priority ..
I know .. I know..
hmmm..

but I think it's time to move on and make a decision to leave him..
I think, he will hold me tight and do something to make everything like we wanted before..
but he won't..

he said that we never get into something called serious !
oh nooooooooo..
I hate to hear that !
it hurts me so much ..

I know that me and him will not end up with something called marriage ..
but I think miracle will on our way ..
but now, I dont think so..

hmmm..
maybe what he said made me open my eyes then know that we are not meant to be..
even honestly, it's so hard for me to let him go..

but I believe..
everything's gonna be okay, if we're not together again ..

no more lies for my mom ..
THAT'S THE IMPORTANT THING !

hmmmmmmmmmm..
I just wanna runaway ..
as far as I can be ..

but, does he know how much I love him?
maybe yes or maybe not..
I just dont wanna think about it..
so why so serious, dinda ?? ;(